CUDDLR - Made for him by Gaige :| The first couple hits will really confuse him, s o b

[drang]

Wolfgang Bogdanow* (28) German. Locksmith & boxman. LIKES: ladies, dudes, cheap beer, diamonds, explosions ( !!! ) Available for cuddles and "cuddles". Ask me about rocket launchers.

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FOR YES / A MATCH / A TICK
<span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#2EB82E;">✓</span>

FOR NO / A CROSS
<span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span>

*will occasionally be changed to "God", but only while messaging April, so if you catch him during one of those times, you can swipe God. ur welcome.

Comments

[polizist]

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Ready to see if you're as great at running as you are at swimming?

[drang]

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I'm not - I drink and smoke too much to be good at running. But yes, let's go. [ somehow this doesn't apply to swimming also in his mind???? ] What's the check mean?

[ because he is not actually sure what's going on right now or when this app showed up on his phone ]

[polizist]

You don't drink or smoke more than me. Bet you'll be fine.

The check means I'd fuck you.

That was a joke.

[altarego]

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Tell me more about rocket launchers.

1/3 idk forgive me

[drang]

[ you'll have to forgive him for a second, luci, he doesn't actually know what the hell this app is or when it showed up on his phone or who put it there (it was gaige). when it was kay, he just figured it was a normal text. now he's noticing there's a whole paragraph on here written about him. ]

What

[drang]

[ uuuhhhhhhhh ]

Delete. Unsubscribe.

[ that's not how it works, bro ]

aight done

[drang]

[ taking a moment to go back and read through this thing, hold on. 'boxman' 'diamonds' 'explosions', but mostly 'cheap beer'.

oh.

god freaking dammit, gaige. he should really care more when she starts messing with his stuff. welp, whatever, we're here now. ]

They fit well in BMW trunks. Who are you?

LAUGHS

[altarego]

[ Oh, this is good. ]

Charming.

I'm someone who's curious about rocket launchers, clearly. Do you have a BMW?

[henleys]

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ok i'll finally bite
biggest diamond youve ever laid a hand on: go

lalala headcanon la also i don't know shit about diamonds, sob :'|

[drang]

[ ofc giving a check for thiefbro. ]

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Biggest? Most of what comes through Berlin is quantity. All the big rocks you see at the museums. Antwerp in Belgium. You need at least a five man team and balls of steel to try to lift something from them.

When I was a kid, though, my uncle bought this necklace for my aunt - had this huge fucking rock right in the middle, made her look like she was trying to be Queen of England. 60, 70 carats. They wouldn't stop talking about it and it was getting annoying, so, I went into their room at night, cracked the safe in my uncle's closet while they were asleep, took the necklace, and put it on the dog.

It was an ugly as fuck dog, so I thought it fit.

[henleys]

oh my god youre my new favorite person

[ what a message to send to your uncle and aunt, wolfgang. ]

so what happened when they found out?

[emouvoir]

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[drang]

[ oh, hey. documentaries girl. sup. ]

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Netflix and chocolate? [ and sad dead penguins. ]

[emouvoir]

can't say no to an offer like that.

[ can't say no to chocolate, in general. hey kid, want some candy? yes. please. ]

[avicula]

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tell me about your rocket launcher then

[drang]

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Fits well in a trunk, good for conflict resolution.

[avicula]

use it often?

[ambitious]

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[drang]

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Singer? [ weird fact - he is addicted to the european version of The Voice. so this is pretty cool to him. ]

[ambitious]

When the mood strikes.
What's a boxman?

[saints]

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What're the quotes around "cuddles" for?

Maybe I'm interested in those.

[drang]

[ this reply comes like a day or so later, because wolfgang never checks this app. also, he's like half asleep and possibly drunk and definitely bored when he looks it up. ]

Don't know, didn't write it.

[ wait. squinting at his profile thing. thinking about the girl who did write it. oh. ]

Sex.

[ and now going to check out this dude's page before swiping one way or the other. card reading................. whatever, he's hot, fuck it. ]

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[saints]

[ You're already his least favorite for being so late!!! >:(

Wait 'til he tells Max.

Ur kind of precious in a brusque way. ]

Took you a while to figure that out.

[ Yes he's hot, you better swipe the right way, okay. ]

So what's with the rocket launchers, Wolf? Are those figurative or literal? And are they legal.

[deafens]

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i'm still mega weirded out by all these doubles but at least it's the cute ones so it's all good.

[drang]

[ .........."hot weed granny"

yeah, okay. ]

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Which one's yours? Kay or the other one?

[ honestly doesn't even know the other dude's name ]